Today was an icky day overall. I determined early on that this day was just not working for me. Traffic in the morning made me late, my grandfather is in the hospital (he’s stable-ish for now, but apparently he’s saying some weird things), annoying crap happened at work. I decided to run it out, like a rage-run. I might run faster just because I’m mad. It’s a speed run today, so I figured I might be able to beat my best mile.
By the time I got home, I wasn’t mad anymore, I was just sad and tired. I decided to run anyway and try to find some inner strength. I needed to be cleansed, redeemed but all I got was a whole lot of BLEH. It was really cold today, and although the run was great for, like, five minutes, after about fifteen minutes all the life was drained out of me and my legs decided they just didn’t have another fifteen minutes in them. So I just turned towards home. It wasn’t a bad run when I compared it to other speedy runs, but it just didn’t give me what I wanted emotionally. It just didn’t break down the walls inside my head. I had no bursts of speed when I needed them, no runner’s high, no second wind. I love how running can fix everything, but today was just not working for me.