Running on anger

Saturday morning, I laced up my sneakers and stepped outside. I hadn’t run in about a week. I wasn’t going to do speed work or follow a plan. I didn’t pay attention to my watch. I just needed to run.

Gary’s dad passed away last Tuesday after a tough battle with a long illness. It truly sucks. Their relationship was complicated, and feelings were very tense throughout the whole family in those last few weeks. It’s a shame things wound up the way they did.

I made a memorial slideshow of pictures of him and his family throughout the years. He was a science geek, a proponent of solar cells and solar power, winning science fair awards as a kid. He worked on projects for RCA, NASA. Eventually he started drinking too much, and, well, things spiraled downhill from there. By the time I met him, he was a different person. It’s too bad I couldn’t have known the other guy, the one I saw in all those pictures. The one who looked at his 1 year old son like he was everything, not the one who broke a promise to his 25 year old son to take him out to dinner for his birthday because he was “in a bad mood” (drunk and cranky.) I am mad that he’s gone, mad that I never got to know him, mad that he was always drinking, mad that I never really saw the real him. Mad that he didn’t try to fix things when he could and mad that he won’t get another chance. It doesn’t make sense, it just sucks.

We’re all being given a chance every day to tell our loved ones how important and special they are – do it. Don’t miss out on it.

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