Oh, hi.

I’ve found it REALLY REALLY difficult to get back on track since my miscarriage. I have never really ever hit my stride as far as workout consistency goes (but I bet you like my running puns, huh? DO YOU? stride? track? Bueller?)

Anyway, yeah. I had a miscarriage, got really depressed, and took a raincheck on a lot of things I normally love. I just had no desire or strength to do anything, really.

I painted a little; something sort of modern with triangles and pinks, blues and yellows that I had been planning on painting for the nursery, and a painting of gladiolus. I wanted to do a flower painting sort of in memory of the baby we lost, and the gladiolus is the birthday flower for August. The baby was due August 6. Painting really helped with the pain.

I’m trying to get back into running and it’s really hard. My body is totally rebelling. It got used to sitting on the couch playing videogames and now it just wants Cheez-its. I want my clothes to fit again. Body and I… we’re in negotiations.

I’ve tried to hop on the treadmill, and for like three days, I was sticking with a beginner’s running program. Then I got my period and got really depressed again because.. I wasn’t pregnant. Fast forward to two weeks later, I decide to try the treadmill again, and it’s SO HARD. I couldn’t even run for five minutes. I was SHOCKED. It was so discouraging.

After my two minute attempt, I’m sitting on the couch crying because I’ve gotten so out of shape and my husband realizes he set the incline on the treadmill to like, 4. Of course I couldn’t run for five minutes.

One week later, I hop on, hoping I will be able to run for just five minutes. Nope. Still too hard. I ran for three minutes, a whole quarter of a mile. Woo-hoo.

Tell me this is going to get easier again.

 

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Oh, hi.

  1. That’s tough news. I’m so sorry for your loss. Things will get better.

    Getting back to running after some time is definitely discouraging at first, but the muscles will remember and your brain knows you can do it. I’m no trainer, but as an online running buddy I say be kind to yourself. Maybe a program is too structured right now? My sister’s having luck building endurance by going on walks instead of runs. She runs the first and last stretch and that’s it right now. The length of those stretches are longer some days, sometimes they’re shorter. It’s more about getting outside and moving.

    I have a really hard time on treadmills, too! Outdoor runs offer nice distractions.

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