Oh, hi.

I’ve found it REALLY REALLY difficult to get back on track since my miscarriage. I have never really ever hit my stride as far as workout consistency goes (but I bet you like my running puns, huh? DO YOU? stride? track? Bueller?)

Anyway, yeah. I had a miscarriage, got really depressed, and took a raincheck on a lot of things I normally love. I just had no desire or strength to do anything, really.

I painted a little; something sort of modern with triangles and pinks, blues and yellows that I had been planning on painting for the nursery, and a painting of gladiolus. I wanted to do a flower painting sort of in memory of the baby we lost, and the gladiolus is the birthday flower for August. The baby was due August 6. Painting really helped with the pain.

I’m trying to get back into running and it’s really hard. My body is totally rebelling. It got used to sitting on the couch playing videogames and now it just wants Cheez-its. I want my clothes to fit again. Body and I… we’re in negotiations.

I’ve tried to hop on the treadmill, and for like three days, I was sticking with a beginner’s running program. Then I got my period and got really depressed again because.. I wasn’t pregnant. Fast forward to two weeks later, I decide to try the treadmill again, and it’s SO HARD. I couldn’t even run for five minutes. I was SHOCKED. It was so discouraging.

After my two minute attempt, I’m sitting on the couch crying because I’ve gotten so out of shape and my husband realizes he set the incline on the treadmill to like, 4. Of course I couldn’t run for five minutes.

One week later, I hop on, hoping I will be able to run for just five minutes. Nope. Still too hard. I ran for three minutes, a whole quarter of a mile. Woo-hoo.

Tell me this is going to get easier again.

 

 

 

 

 

Feelin’ Good

One of my oldest friends is hosting a fitness challenge via Facebook. She was probably one of my first friends ever! For February, it’s about heart health and we’re checking in each day with our heart rates both resting and during exercise. I’ve not been able to work out every day, but the challenge is giving me great motivation to try to do at least half an hour of some kind of activity each day.

Wednesday: I wanted to work out, and I was just itching to run, so I geared up and drove to the nearby borough at about 9 PM to go for a quick run. There’s free parking, it’s quiet, and there’s not a lot of traffic so I can run on the road if I have to, which I did, because I guess some people don’t clear their sidewalks too well. Only had to misstep once to feel that slippery feeling under my feet, and I took to the street. Once around the block is .84 miles. I don’t know the neighborhood too well and it wasn’t the right time for exploring, so .84 miles was good enough for me. My lower back really started to bother me towards the end. Not sure what’s been going on with that, although I am guessing it’s because I put some weight on in the past few months since Gary’s dad was really sick.

I had a physical yesterday and lots of work to do, so no workout for me. I saw a different doctor than last time, who was much more awesome. I had an EKG, which was super weird, since I’ve never had one before, but they said all was normal, so that’s good. Apparently, I have strong lungs and a strong heartbeat. The doctor told me I had gained a little weight in the past two years, and I told her that I do work out regularly but the routine had gone a little haywire in the past few months since my father-in-law passed away. She was like, “why did you stop running? are you depressed? do you need medication?” …um, nope, I’m good. She also said she would give me a referral to a nutritionist, and I told her I didn’t want it. I said, “I know what I would need to do to lose weight, sometimes I’m better at eating healthy, sometimes I’m not. If I gave up soda and switched to water, that would probably make a big difference, but I run and I like it, and I don’t want to change.” She seemed shocked. In the end, I told her she could give me the referral so if I changed my mind I could call. While I was checking out, the receptionist was gathering the doctor’s notes, and I could see pages with information about “OBESITY” and I was like, “you can keep them.”

I went into this appointment telling myself, “I am going to stand up for myself and be strong and tell them that there is nothing wrong with the way I am. I will not let them bully me.” See, they checked my vitals and everything was totally normal, and if there is nothing medically wrong with me, don’t tell me to change anything. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it! I understand that there could be problems in the future due to being overweight, but I am fully aware of how my decisions affect me and I am happy with who I am.

I got home from work later that night to find that my husband had bought a treadmill! As the winter drags on and ice covers the world, I become so despIMG_3255erate to run that I consider going back to the treadmill.  and the one he got is WONDERFUL. We set it up tonight, threw on Lord of the Rings (The Fellowship of the Ring) and I ran a mile and a half. I am in love. I can see this totally changing my workout game.

 < Me with the new treadmill after its inaugural run!

On a completely unrelated note, I’ve decided to walk (& run) to Mordor. Yes, the choice of workout entertainment might have slightly influenced that decision. Thanks to Eowyn Challenge, I’ve got my road map. The whole trip is 1779 miles from Hobbiton to Mount Doom, but I’ll start with the 458 mile path from Hobbiton to Rivendell. It’s kind of a tall order for me but I’m going to pad my mileage with long walks on the treadmill watching Lord of the Rings, and I’ll start tracking mileage hiked while geocaching. So far, 7.08/458.